Missouri vs Memphis Overturned!

by Don Harkey

In a surprise move today, the NCAA has announced that it is going to intercede and overturn the results of the Memphis vs. Missouri basketball game last night. Missouri beat Memphis 102-91 in Sweet 16 action last night ending Memphis' 27-game winning streak.

"These are clearly unusual times which call for unusual measures.", quoted one NCAA Official. "First of all, Memphis has won the last 27-games in a row. This type of long history of success cannot be ignored when determining a National Champion."

The unprecedented move by the NCAA represents the first time in any major sporting association that a game outcome was overturned to protect a team generally believed to be superior. "Memphis is simply too good a team to allow them to slip out of the tournament. An NCAA tournament without Memphis is simply unacceptable. If a team that wins 27 games in a row isn't qualified to win the National Championship, who is? The credibility of our whole system is at stake."

When asked how the remaining tournament would be structured, another NCAA Official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, admitted that their would be some hurdles to overcome. "We don't want to penalize Missouri for playing Memphis, so we now have 9 teams playing for one spot and that presents us with some obvious challenges. We are exploring all options on the table including looking at some other teams that have lost to inferior teams as well as looking at teams that were unfairly excluded from the tournament in the first place."

"These actions are absolutely necessary to preserve the future of the sport of basketball and really all sports in this country", commented the head of the NCAA. "When a team's future is decided by a few shots, we all lose. Starting today, we are going to examine extensive policy changes in the NCAA regarding all sports. We are going to develop a comprehensive solution to this problem to ensure that all sporting events are fair and that no team falls pray to a random loss."

Members of Congress have been quick to applaud the actions of the NCAA. "I think the actions taken by the NCAA are very appropriate!", commented one Congressman from Tennessee. "Memphis deserves better and the American people deserve better. We are actually watching the NCAA plan with great interest as a possible model for restructuring future congressional elections."

Missouri officials were not reached for comment.


The above story is true, although the names and faces have been changed to protect the... well... to protect the author.