Choosing to Be Happy

by Don Harkey

I was talking with Chris Watkins last week, a Springfield Wellness Coach, and she was presenting her "unified theory" of organizations, which is a work in progress. One of the factors she had was "Awareness". This is a great point that many people don't realize (aren't "aware" of!).

I used to have a problem with road rage. I didn't yell at anyone, but I would just get angry when someone cut me off or drove badly near me. My blood pressure would rise and I would tense up. Then one day, someone said something that hit home. "You realize that most of the time the other person has no idea that you are mad at them." From that day forward, I was cured. I don't get mad anymore. I simply decided to stop. It was really THAT simple.

I think the concept of "Awareness" is that we all have the ability to control our reactions to things. As another saying goes, "you can't be offended without first giving your permission". If someone calls you a name, you can get upset or you can decide not to get upset. Seriously.

Andy Andrews, author of "Traveler's Gift" talks about choosing to be happy. We all have problems and we all have challenges in our lives. It is NOT fair. Yet, how we deal with these challenges is our choice. Our society sometimes teaches us that this is not true. We teach ourselves to act PC and be cautious not to offend, and to some extent, being considerate of others is a good thing.

Within an organization, this can go too far.

When a friend of mine recently made a mistake, I approached the friend and told them how I felt. It was painful, but she appreciated it. I recently had a client tell me how he felt I could have improved on one aspect of my service. Ouch! Ego is what makes it hurt, but when we are "aware", we can overcome this and process the information. The suggestion will only make me a better consultant and will only make him a more trusted source of information.

So, be aware that you have control. If it seems hard, it is only because you are making it that way. Simply choose to react differently. Simply choose not to get upset. Simply choose to have control. Get a grip! Keep your wits about you! It will make a big difference in your life!